underneath The Wise Turtle (turil) wrote in bpdisorder,
underneath The Wise Turtle

The cure...

The answer to all my problems - seriously, ALL of them - has turned out to be:

1. Pay more attention to getting high quality food, water, air, warmth, and sunlight in my life.

2. Make sure to find at least a couple of communities/outlets/spaces where I am free (and sometimes even welcome) to express myself freely, physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually, when I need to.

3. Accept reality. Not necessarily love it. But NOT fight against it, so that I'm at least operating in reality (including messy and "annoying" natural human behavior), and so that I have a chance to at least change my own behavior and/or approach to better avoid problems in the future.

Really, those are the only things I've seen that work to help be heal. Everything else is just a workaround, at best, or harmful, at worst. But focusing on my physical health (good stuff in = good stuff out!), and respecting my need to detoxify in whatever way I need to, and bringing myself back to reality by recognizing that whatever happened happened for a REASON, and that nothing else could possibly have happened, given the very specific circumstances of the universe at the time, has allowed me to get past pretty much every problem I've had recently.

I'd love to hear from others who are using this simple (but not necessarily easy to do in this world) approach. How does eating healthier food, and getting more fresh air and sunlight helped you? How useful is it to you to have places to vent? How has "radical acceptance" (as the DBT folks call it) helped you get more good stuff out of your life?
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As someone who is also a recovering alcoholic, I find many of the tenets of Step work to be applicable to most life concerns. After all, alcohol is only ever spoken of in Step 1.

But the thoughts you put forth are ones I cant disagree with. I feel lousy when I dont eat well, and while I dont practice this -- or anything -- perfectly, there are things that leave me better than others.

I vent in meetings, but I also try and listen. I can learn anything from anyone if Im available to it. I cant grow if I just listen to the voice in the back of my head.

As for acceptance, that latest lesson Im learning is to be mindful of resignation as opposed to acceptance. Resignation, by some definitions, is the acceptance of despair, and while this is sometimes a part of life, it is probably not a great state. Acceptance is taking something as true -- not necessarily but usually also real -- to heart.

I must, however, take issue with cure. Cure implies a finality I dont believe I will ever achieve, not only in alcoholism but also in whatever hybrid of bipolar/borderline I am. These are aspects of myself and while they formulate all of me, not just the "bad traits" I possess. I can grow from it and put it into remission, but those will always be a part of me, and if I deny that, I fight something so fundamentally out of my ability to grasp, I get nowhere.

But thats how I see it.
By cure, I mean that one is able to grow again, rather than be stuck, or regress. Yes, there is always change and never total perfection in health, but just as scurvy is curable, you still always have to eat vitamin C, otherwise you'll get sick again. The same is true for many illnesses, they will come back if you become deficient/toxicified again, but you can say that you're cured if it stops dragging you down.
Its just a different way of seeing things. If that works for you, fantastic. Youll get no argument with me. I was just expressing myself.

Besides, wouldnt it be horribly boring if we all used the same verbiage for things? =)